Back to the beginning…

T. has always had to have me help guide him through each of the four math processes step by step.  Not able to problem solve on his own at all.  This has become such an overwhelming issue that he has now lost his ability to count.  SERIOUSLY!!  It is just gone.  So I am bringing us back to the very beginning of learning simple foundational math.  We will continue to advance with ever more complicated processes, but I will have an ongoing task of remedial math to work on with him.

Today, I decided to try Flash cards.  Now, Flash cards don’t teach, they access and when used creatively can help in the process of educating.  I figured I would start with a very simple 0-9 addition to 2 problems.  I really want to incorperate a little more geography into our lessons, so I created a game about destinations.  We chose 10 places as the route including the start and end locations from the world map.  I wrote each destination on an individual little slip of paper.  I asked T. to choose the route we were going to take to get to our final destination and we lined up our slips of paper to reflect the sequence.

I had the cards from the deck in sequential order.  I would lay down the 2+0 card and ask him “if our plane took off from the airport on time?”, then he would give me the solution to the card and if he got it correct I would lay down the next card under the next slip of paper and destination upon it; 2+1, “Did our plane land safely?” “Did we make our next flight to so and so?” “Adding geological and current  issues was interesting, Iraq, Baghdad  for instance, “Did our plane make it through enemy fire?”, India, Delhi: “Did we make it over the mountains?” etc etc for each sequential card.  As he got stronger with his skill of finding the pattern, we mixed up destinations and flight patterns, then I began to mix up the sequence of the cards.  If he couldn’t answer it, I woudl give a hint, but if after that he still couldn’t figure it out we started again with the same sequence.

T. got frustrated easily with the rules, but he did enjoy embellishing on the story line for each place we went to.  He distracted himself by doing so.  So, I realized pretty quickly how disorganized his thoughts were and the severity in lacking addition skills he is at currently.  Weird, how he has had a major drop in IQ.  Math was not something he has ever had a big issue with, but now I re-teach everything.  Huh.

Anyway, thought I would share this idea of making addition facts an interesting game.

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April 3rd 2009

Our day started off in the usual manner of slowly rising and eating breakfast.  I  went through our list of ToDo’s in my head and decided before we go to our scheduled knitting lesson/playdate in the afternoon we should get some grocery shopping done.

We are changing our families diet over to a Gluten Free Casien Free Diet.  I am hoping that this change might help gives us better results with T.’s behavior and gut issues and all around be better for us health wise.  This change is huge.   We are all cheese and bread lovers in this house and are going to have to move through our emotional attachments to these foods together. I am not one to lean on during a craving, so this should make for some interesting exchanges between myself and the boys.  I am not sure how much support I am getting for my other half. but I do hope  we are all venturing into this diet with the intention of the enitre household being GFCF.  I really want to make every effort into this change.  I need a full trial over the next few years to see if this is going to make a difference for the better or not.  More than anything I need this HOPE!  My inner self is dark and dreary and tired.  I need some light hopful actions to keep my spirit intact.  Which as of late has n ot been the case.

While shopping we were encouraged to find several items on our list at our local grocer.  This bodes well for our pocketbook.  There are still other items we will have to find at other locations, but I feel quite satisfied by our initial effort to replace some goods in our cabinets this day.  I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to have my rice milk back in my fridge.  I have been going too mong without it.  I love the light cold drink.  It really eases my tummy knowing I can drink this without having bloating and pains.  So yummy!!

Afterward we headed out to our dear friends, LC and her boys TC and OC.  It was my knitting lesson day!!  YEAH!!  I am know on the gusset of my sock and I can’t tell you how exciting it is to see this becoming a real sock.  One I whole heartedly intend on wearing.  I am going to start the second one soon, so my lessons are refreshed as I go and I really need to purchase the book “Sensational Knitted Socks” by Charlene Schurch.  What a great guide.  The boys played fairly well and we had a few incidents that got my hair up but nothing out of the ordinary for my boys.  Still prety frustrating.  I enjoy learning from LC and chatting with her.  Grown up friends are hard to find and harder to enjoy since we all seem so busy these days.

I love this little tree in LC’s living room and have actually wanted a large plant for my indoor living spaces, too.  It is really cute, but I can’t stop myself from thinking it needs little gnomes and fairies and such all around it hidden in the branches and sitting at its base.  But everytime I walk out the door I forget about it.  Today, I am taking a picture so I will remember my thoughts and begin working towards making some little nuggets for the tree.

On our way over, the radio was going on and on about a shooting and streets being closed off.  When I actually focused my attention to the announcement I realized it was going on about my local civic center and here I am heading directly for that area of town for my knitting lesson.  This was somewhat shocking.  I knew I could not enter the area from the way we normally take with out running into overflow traffic from re-routing, so I called and received directions from another way.  We were only a mile from the shooting of 14 people.  We listened to the radio and checked our local news paper online for updates.  It was pretty nerve racking when we began receiveing calls from out of state regarding our safety and such, since it had apparently hit national news.  This was bigger than I thought.  Even President Obama and his wife had been in contact with our local leaders.  That was surprising.  We were safe the entire time as only the block in which the civic center resided was lockdown and all other locations were secluded from any effect.  I feel our government agencies handled the situation the best they could.   Just wish we knew what set the man off.  Maybe we could learn from this and avoid possible situations like this from occuring.

From what we heard during the Address given after the incident by the governer and other officials, this type of shooting has occured several times in the last month all over our country.  People are getting scared, hopeless, and angry at our current economical situation and I fear we are just seeing the beginnings of what can come of someone who has lost everything.  I can only hope we resolve our countries issues with out the rage and violence that we are seeing lately.

A Little Hope!

A Little Hope!

One of those days…

Today I started out feeling kinda crappy since I hadn’t been able to sleep well the night before. Then to make matters worse I choose today to push lots writing on T. today for school work. His avoidance of any work finally got me to push back very hard, so when it comes to school work I hope he will feel it won’t even compare to how miserable I made him today. Think it will work? Probably not, but one can have hope, right? First, he needed to write out his valentines cards for the Valentines Day party we have scheduled for playgroup this Wednesday. That took the morning to complete. I do mean the entire morning since there was lots of screaming and running around and such to get him to sit down and put pencil to paper.
In the meantime, B. needs to catch up with some Fraction work, so I plopped him with his chores and his fractions workbook from Key to Curriculum and said get as much as you can get done.
T. completed the names list and went on to his next fit over having more school work. I picked out a worksheet from each subject for him to complete. After trying to help him discover a position that did n’t hurt his back whilst writing and coming up with nothing, it was back to having a fit and then back at the table to complete the work.
While T. was working I was sewing the Valentine cards to the felted Hearts. They are very cute.
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Chores completed and 10 pages later, I called B. out for lunch. We had an extended lunch while I set up some educational videos for us to watch.
First, Standard Deviants Grammar: Verbs. After that, I set up “The Laws of Algebra”, and last but not least, Standard Deviants Pre-Algebra. We have gone through most of the pre-algebra study before, but I know we need some fine tuning and this might have been the best ideas I ever had to figure out what we need to go over. B. finished watching and immediately said we needed to cover negative and positive integers. I quickly scavenged the Internet for the rules for all the applications and worksheets to practice on. These videos were good for T., too, even though they are advanced they tend to go over the basics as well. In T.’s math today we focused on Multiplication and Commutative/Associative properties involved in the simple problems we worked with. He liked seeing it shown on the screen like that.
After all this, B. took up his Valentines list and T. went outside to play.
Of course, B. was playing his guitar between any and all breaks he had. Now he is off to his Tae Kwon Do class. Myself and T. are home for the evening, since it was not an easy day and don’t need to put myself through anymore outside stressers like keeping track of T. in Barnes and Nobles.
Well, I am pooped and heading for bed soon. Hope your day was filled with less explosiveness than mine. Blessings.

T.

Okay, am I ever allowed to just freak out!  Cause I really want to.  My anxiety is sky rocketing through the roof.  My face is tingling and my mouth is going numb from the anxiety attack I am trying to stave off.   T. once again has effected my social outlets.  He was so disturbing and destructive at a lovely fiber meeting that I am no longer welcome to be apart of it.  Not that this is a big surprise as it was only a matter of time.  I am tired of going places with and for him, to only get slapped in the face, sometimes literally, with explosions or tantrums of swearing, throwing objects, banging and pushing everything in his path, and screaming.  I won’t subject myself to useless talk therapies for this child, when all they do is ask me for a running list of what we did and how did he manage it as our weekly hour long therapy sessions.  As that has how it has been since he was two years old, I think I can safely say, that doesn’t work for him or us.  I just need an adjustment for his meds and someone to help me a couple times a week so I can get out and do things without him or worrying about him.  You would think that this shouldn’t be hard to find in a country where more than half the population has some sort of metnal disorder or physical disorder.  Yes, that was my own made up fact but it is no less truthful.  All the useless beuracracy to get any help or service provided is obscene!  I should need two other parties involved to get respite for my son.  I shouldn’t need weekly visits with a useless social worker posing as a therapist to get once a month pyschiatric treatment.  I should be able to find quality medical care using medicaid, but apprently only the specialty doctors that received the bare minimum nescesary to gradute with a Phd. sign on with medicaid as an insurance provider.  If I want quality,I need to use all of the funds my child recieves to live off of, for Supplemental Social Security, to pay for private services to meet his needs.  Grrr!  I hate using governmental systems but have no other choice and that really grinds my gears. 

I don’t want to bring him to playgroup or playdates or theater shows or parks or church or stores or doctors!  I want him to be normal or shut up in a locked safe room, so I can live without feeling as though I am going to crack into a million peices everytime I do anything!  I know this is unrealistic and absurd thinking but I am still allowed to think it.  Unless you have lived it, you know nothing!  Even someone coming to the house for five minutes creates T. into a monster that if he doesn’t get to interupt you the whole time and climb all over you and hang off my body, I get to deal with biting and yelling and destroying things and acting stupid.  “Oh no!  Mommy is talking to another human being!  I must get her and the persons attention at all times. What can I do?  Oh, I know. Lets try to climb on top of a car, or disect an antenna from this persons car, or chase down and hurt an animal.  That’ll do the trick!”  WTF!!!  I deal with this crap day in and day out!  For what??!!  I don’t know anymore.  My sense of obligation is twindling and my protectivness as a mother is fleeting and my love is borderline hate.  In my gut, I am knots just thinking about not being able to make this right somehow.    I am so overwhelmed and totally lost.  What I wish and want is never a reality in my life no matter how hard I work to create it to be so.  I have bent my life to adjust to my childrens needs for so long I have no idea what my goals were in the first place.

In one hand I am thankful for the path that my children have led me on, because of all the new experiences I have come across in my time as their mother.  On the other hand, is my time ever done!  I want simple queit fun relaxed happy healthy family.  Agh!  I throw my hands up in the air.  What else can I do?