We woke up early and I made a quick breakfast for us all. We walked to the fishing spot with all our gear. It was a lovely walk. The air was crisp but warm and the spots of sun sparkled through the tree tops like little crystals. A very refreshing morning. After sorting fishing rods and worming everyones’ hooks we all cast out. T. was the first to catch something. A big sunfish. There were many that day and a few other types of fish. I don’t think the boys father was able to fish much, but when T. had stopped for a while I got in a few nice casts of my own. I hadn’t been fishing in what seems forever. I still enjoy the calm and the suspension that comes with the whole idea of it. The sun was coming out and we had a playdate planned for that afternoon, so we packed up our gear and headed back to the house.
Once me and boys had stopped back at the house for lunch we were able to encourage Brian to join us at the playground with our dear friends Christina and Tristan, her son. I have known Christina since our highschool years and we were very tight. So much so, that I sadly fell for her boyfriend, my soon to be husband and father to my children. It was very weird having that come between us when we were just coming out of our teens and into our adulthood. Thankfully, she is forgiving and loving and we connected again a year before this visit. I was soooo looking forward to seeing her again. My boys and her son carry a very common bond, beside being ruthless fearless boys, they are all on the Autistic Spectrum. They get along fabulously. I wish we had never had such a long seperation between us. It was wonderful to hang out with her again and relax right back into old patterns. I was feeling very “HOME” now. Brian joined us and it was like old time in High School. Except we were secretly razzing on the kids instead of other high schoolers. LOL
When the clouds rolled in, we skuttled off for a dinner at home and some down time. There it is again!! RELAXING and DOWNTIME!!! What the hell are these thing?!! How do I find that again?! It was bliss and stressful all at the same time. What do I do to relax? I dunno.
OMG! I want to explode! This is how last night went.
“Time for bed”
“Okay, I want to make my bed, so you don’t have to.”
“huh? well, okay…”
“One chapter left and you’ll be done with InkSpell. I hope it ends well.” “Done, bummer. I was hoping for a happy ending. We finished Artmeis Fowl yesterday, what do you want to read next?”
“Nothing, I’ll be in my room.”
“What?! What have you got going on?!” Looking down behind his bed and under his bed. Blood pressure rising!!!! Screams welling inside me. “What the hell is this!?! Goddammit!”
“Nothing. I don’t have anything. Okay! The rest of the videos are in the bag.”
Tossing room commences to find DVD player and three movies and Gameboy Advanced turned on under bed.
“Don’t ever ask me to read you another story!”
Whaling loudly and screams galore as I remove items and storm out of his room before I throw child out second floor window. Furious! Not bothering to tune into anything child is saying. I sit and knit!
Can I just say this happens a lot. I am so tired of him breaking into my room and drawers pulling crap out that he knows he is not allowed to use. So all must go! I am done having any of it in hopes that one day as they become older teens they might learn to moderate themselves with this stuff and that it wouldn’t be such an obsessive issue. I find it absurd that my child is decieptful, sneaky, lying, and totally untrustworthy. ARG! Don’t say it! I already know! I just need to ge this shit out!
Sunday I was hoping to actually be able to sit and listen to a sermon from Douglas Taylor our minister at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Binghamton and have B. in Religious Education class without any incedents, but I was way off base. I woke to find T. wanting to attend Spirit Play! I was astonished! Why you say? Well, he can’t really handle group things without a melt down of sorts so he avoids them like the plague with the exception of playgroups on Wednesdays. Last Sunday was out UUPal brunch. This consists of Secret Adult Pals meeting their youth pal over brunch to exchange gifts and knowledge about one another. The lead up to this event id fun for the adults and the children as adults leave secret notes and items for the children through out the month. T. did not perticpate this year becuase I would not sign him up if he were not going to particpate in Religious education or other church functions. He was upset, understandably but I was standing firm on this. Surprise! That pushed him to reach out and explore Spirit Play, our montessori based religious education program for his particular age group. I went over with him the format of class and expectations of him while particpating in a classroom event. He tentatively entered the room, not allowing me out of his site and took his place amoung the circle. Normally having another adult in the room would be frowned upon but I kept myself small and focused solely upon him and reassuring him. He made it! All the way through class and enjoyed himself thoroughly! He even said he wanted to do this every Sunday! This is major break through for T. I was so happy to see him sit through the story and explore all the baskets of stories he has missed from previous class stories. It was facinating! His teachers were wonderful and supportive.
That’s not all!
I realized after class that it was the day of our church’s MAY DAY celebration. Good thing I realized before I left, as I was signed up to help at the craft table! 😛 This meant staying through out coffee hour and through second service with T. running free for most of it. Coffee hour went well. T. played with his freinds on the playground while I helped set up and catch up with several folks I had not seen in a while. Then it came Chapel time for the children and T. was not going to particpate. I figured if he made it this far in the day without issues I was not going to push his involvment in this. I left him to play. I little while later the children had chosen the May Queen and King and proceeded to the May Pole. T. then came crying inside to me, at the craft table, becuase “they had started without him”. I am not sure what he was thinking, but I told him that he chose not to participate by not entering Children’s Chapel and if he really wanted to join in I could help him or he could simply ask the Acting DRE to help him find a spot. At that, he decided he would just play around in the same area. That was fine. After the Maypole Dance the kids were let loose. They took advantage of the trees and room to run. It was chaos, but a good chaos. Until……T. took offense to another child removing, without permission, his friend, Pirans’s backpack from his body. He instantly picked up a stick and started kicking the child. The entire process was carefully watched and dealt with swiftly and lovingly by the Acting DRE, Laurie McCoy. She is wonderful! We found in our conversations with T. that his initial upset that happened prior to the Maypole dance, was the fact that his favorite adult, Bill Thorpe, was not there. He was looking forward to playing with him. That was sad, but his daughter ensured him that he would see him soon and he had no choice about not being here. That worked for T.! He was off and running and having a great time and all was forgiven between parties. I kept my eye on him to see if he was losing touch with reality at all but he held fast. It was so pleasant not to have to have been his mediator for that time period. It was great breathe of fresh air.
That is not all!
Of course all good things must come to an end! Well, five minute warnings were given to both children and with only a slight altercation between brothers, was accepted with only a little groan. Upon the one minute warning I was initially greeted with a loud outburst vocally “No!” but when I stated that a five minute warning was given so he should be ready, I actually got a repsonse of “Okay”. My jaw practically dropped off my face! Both boys went back outside to play….or that is what I thought. In actuality! Both had made their rounds of good byes and were waiting for me at the car!!!!!! AT THE CAR!!!!!! I was the one running behind and late for them!! This was miraculous! I couldn’t have asked for a better morning!
I am trying to recover from this weekend but I am not doing such a good job at it as I havn’t stopped moving yet. T.’s birthday was fun and am still trying to gather all the pictures from everyone so I acn publish some of them. That night after everyone left, I gave instructions to my friend on the care of the animals while we were gone and cleaned up. Then we began military style almost of preparing all the food for our weekend trip to Harrisburg PA. Sandwiches made, veggies cut, fruits diced, water bottled, etc… This went on until very late and finally everything was packed in to the coolers and bags and ready to walk out the door at 5:30am. We actually managed to wake and get out the door a little later than that but were still making good time. Both boys actually made it there without any fussing! Three and half hours later and we arrived at an enormous farm show complex with bags and water and tickets ready in hand. We filed in through the lines and found seats way up in nose bleed section for the day. The seats…were six inches in width. I don’t know about you, but one of my cheeks is bigger than that. Oh well, we managed. T. started to get soar in his back and S. was not feeling well. At lunch time those two left to check-in at the hotel and T. played at a park for the rest of the day. Going into the show details would be painfully boring and a real pain to recall so I will resist the urge. That night we returned to the hotel and ate our prepared dinner and read the fourth book of Artimes Fowl: Opal Deception, as T. had just recieved this for his birthday, then promptly all passed out. Except me. I pretty much stayed up with a few flickers of actual sleep thrown in. Suns up! Rise and Shine! 6:30am we were ready for the door and fed. At 7:00am we were waiting in line with 300+ poeple to get better seats till 8am when the doors open. 7:30am we are standing outside freezing as there is rain coming soon and no sun left in the sky and now there are approx. 1,000 poeple in line. By 8:00am we are finally left in and make a mad dash for the check-in location with approx. 3000+ poeple in tow. We were very lucky to be able to sit about four rows from the front. Then T. proceeded to fall asleep till a little after noon. Through clapping, screaming, pounding, music, cheers, lectures over the microphones… he slept. Across three seats, with me holding him up so he wouldn’t land on the floor or the poeple in front of us. My arms were killing me. LOL Finally he awoke and we had a break with lunch and a little walk around the retail area. The entire time we are there I have been searching the seats one at a time for my dear friends that were supposed to be there. Still not one glimpse of them have I seen. After break, T. was fidgety and kept himself busy with his toys and eating tons of snacks we brought with us. Some pretty interesting stuff was going on but not something T. would understand. B. got some of it and maintained his focus the entire weekend which was pretty impressive! I would love to tap into his head to see if he got anything out of it. All I got from him was “I want a horse.” after the first days sessions. hehe Second break for the day and another walk was in order. I filled out some forms for horsenality stuff and prize tickets. Then we returned to our seats. As soon as I sit down I notice two of the folks I am looking for just entering the retail area, so I run to see them and we chatted and caught up. These particular folks made it possible for me to be here this weekend, as I had lost my tickets and they gave me the extras they had ordered. I see them every week so I will have a chance to see what they thought about the content of the show later this week. I returned to my seat and once again! I saw a group of folks I had been dying to see for over a year now. I ran once more down to the retail area and had huge group hugs. I was on the verge of tears from seeing them. Gayla and her daughter live in Cortland and have beautiful draft horses that I am in love with and Debra and Dave the founders of my passion for Parelli and natural every thing for horses! They are the folks I received my dear Flash from. His original rescuers and rehabilitators! I was so happy I could have exploded. The weekend would have been considered nice if I hadn’t seen them but since I did get chance to see them my weekend gets a much higher rating of wonderful!!!! We spoke for a long time and got together again for quite a while. It was really great and I miss them so much. After all was done we clapped our goodbyes and thank yous to the presenters and made another mad dash to the car. Rain was threatening to pour on us as did earlier in the day. Three of us promptly passed out and S. drove home. After about two hours I revived and soon found us stuck on well over 40 mile back up if not double the amount for over an hour and a half. We finally got to an area we could get off the highway and took our time going home. We arrived home at 9:00pm rather than 7:30pm as anticapated but we were home! I was surprised at how well the boys did this weekend. I am glad tohave gotten there and to have actaully been able to have paid most of my attention to the program. I slept till 6:30am till I woke to bring S. to work then promptly went home to receive my newest member of the family, the poodle, who was not so white as I had left him. LOL Then I proceeded to drive an hour up to Ithaca to pick up 40 Strawberry plants. On my way back I stopped off at the Alphabet Soup Store so the boys could look at all the cool toys and books. They had fun and left peaceably until we got to the car. T. started screaming due to his legos he brought with him fell over. Not really a crisis tho. We have been home since trying to get ready for our friend Sander from Montreal, Canada to arrive this evening. I have a meeting tonight for Small Group Ministry for Parents and had to arrange childcare for which I totally forgot about; Funny tho, as the topic for tonight is overcommitment. Who Me? Then I must pick up my friend from the bus station and set up his sleeping arrangments and visit some before passing out! I am not too busy now-a-days am I? LOL What a crazy weekend! But I wouldn’t change it for the world!